Ugh

So, I am feeling really crappy about myself these days. Last week I only worked out twice and I'm feeling really bad about it. To make matters worse, I am not motivating myself to workout this week either. So, I've decided that I need to have a new goal to work for. I've decided to sign up for a couple of 5k races. I'm just going to do it and then I'll have to figure out how to get there. I think that if I know I have a date I need to be ready by, that I will be more apt to motivating myself to get my arse off the couch.

There are a couple of reasons that I have fallen off my workout schedule. The first was a week and a half ago, I was doing some squats when my left knee all the sudden had a very sharp pain in it. After walking around a bit trying to shake it off, the pain was still there. Needless to say, I was unable to finish that workout. Then the next morning, it still hurt, with the added bonus of hurting whenever I  put any weight on it. Two days later, it no longer hurt, but my daily schedule was so jam packed with stuff to do, I did not have time or energy to work out.

The second excuse is I have been feeling like crap physically. Like I'm getting a cold or something. I've felt achy all over and stuffy in the head and just blah. The weather has not helped much either. Last week it was so cold and rainy here I could barely gather the strength to look outside it was so depressing. Its like I just got a case of the winter blahs.

Today I am feeling better. Even though I was unable to motivate myself to work out this morning, I am planning to run on the elliptical tonight while I watch my favorite TV shows. Tomorrow I will get back to the 2 workouts a day schedule. And since the weather is looking up this week, I am most definitely going to run outside! I'm excited and scared about that prospect. Excited because I love running and its been forever since I have been able to do it. Scared because I have this issue with my pants falling down. Yes, I have two pair of shorts that fit (I've decided I don't like the elastic in the waist. It seems to pinch me and it really irritates me!), but I think I need to maybe get some different pants. Losing weight is so expensive! Every time I turn around I need something. Pants that fit, socks with no holes, shoes..... But it's so worth it!

I hate when I get in these ruts. What I really need to remember is, I just need to get back up and keep going. No goal is ever achieved just sitting on the couch watching the world go by. (unless of course, that is your goal)

Reflections

I feel that now is a good time to reflect on accomplishments. I have a couple of accomplishments that I am very proud of. First, I have lost 40 lbs. I’m roughly about 20 lbs away from my goal weight. Second, I am the most fit I have ever been in my entire life. I absolutely love the way I feel and every week I can see a change in my body. I feel strong physically and emotionally. I can totally feel that my confidence in myself is returning. It truly is an amazing feeling to not only feel good about your appearance, but to love yourself inside and out. Of course, it is strange to toot my own horn here, but dang, I’ve worked hard for this!

When I first started this journey back in August, I was so out of shape that I would be out of breath going up just one flight of stairs in our house. I might add that I was walking slowly up the stairs. I had trouble keeping up with my 4 year old. My knees hurt constantly. I had heartburn several times a day. I knew I wasn’t healthy, but I had no idea what it would take to get me motivated to make a change.

Then, my husband had an opportunity to go on a “business” cruise and he could take the family with him. We had never gone on a cruise before and thought that it could be fun! The cruise was in late November/early December and of course sailed to tropical locations. Naturally, if I was going to be sailing in the tropics, I needed to get my body in better shape. I was not going to be the shamu of the ship.

So, I bought a couple of workout DVD’s and decided to rework my diet. The DVD’s I purchased were Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred and The Biggest Loser Last Chance Workout with Jillian. I decided I would do the 30 Day Shred for the first 2 months then move to the Last Chance workout for the next 2 months. Both DVD’s were killer. I was so sore after doing the first workout. And it was only level 1!! By the end of the 2^nd month I thought I was ready for level 3. Ha! Not quite. I thought I was going to pass out after doing that workout. But after doing it for a week, I was amazed at how much stronger my body was. The nice thing about these DVD’s is they really do allow you to start at any fitness level and gradually build to the highest level. If you are just starting out and are looking for a recommendation for a good workout to start with, get Jillian’s 30 Day Shred. It will kick your arse. Those workouts are no joke. But if you stick with it, you will be amazed at how quickly your body adapts and starts changing.

My diet has been a slow evolution. My biggest thing is I LOVE FOOD!!! I don’t need a reason to eat it and I have absolutely no will power. If there is a piece of cheesy garlic bread sitting there, lonely, just waiting for someone to eat it, I will gladly help it out by consuming it. If there is a drawer full of chocolates, guess who is going to help that chocolate feel loved by eating it. Me. So, I decided first thing I needed to do was to not buy foods that would tempt me. If the bad foods are not in the house, I will not eat them. Naturally, since I have a family who do not need to lose weight, I have struggled with meals. Kids are funny in how they do not embrace new foods. And of course there is the trouble with adults not liking vegetables. When I first started out, I cut out fatty foods. Then after we got accustomed to that, we cut out sweats. Then added in healthy snacks. Then added in more vegetables. And lastly, cutting down on carbohydrates. I truly feel that if you need to make big changes to your diet, you should do so gradually. You have a better chance keeping the changes around that way. If you cut everything out cold turkey, you may feel like you are being deprived and find yourself cheating constantly.

Fast forward to now, I do the P90X workouts in the mornings and then add another cardio workout in the evenings. My diet is full of lean meats, veggies, fruits and complex carbs. Yes, I have my setbacks and cheating moments. I’m human. But for the most part, I have been staying on track and that is what motivates me now. I am totally going to start running again (please Mother Nature! Can we have some warmer weather please???) I’m totally geeked to start running! I have already purchased my running shoes. Now I just need the weather to cooperate.

Now, I would like to take this time to send a special shout out to my friend Angie. She has lost 100 lbs. 100 lbs!!! That’s amazing! You rock girl and are truly an inspiration! Whenever I find myself in a tempting situation, I can totally hear your voice say “Don’t do it!”.