Injuries Suck!

So, I've been training for the half marathon that is in about a week and a half. Unfortunately, about 2-3 weeks ago, I did something to my left knee. Which sucks, because I have not been able to run the long distances since then. My knee is getting stronger, but I'm still doing a lot more walking than what I would prefer. Nonetheless, I am not giving up. I don't care if I have to crawl across that finish line, I am finishing! And I'm going to run as much as I possibly can. I might be crippled at the end, but it will be worth it.

It's really tough when you have a goal and suffer an injury. It's also really frustrating when you have no idea how you got the injury. But its important to know how to take care of yourself. After all, if you don't give your body the rest it needs, you're not going to get better. My injury is annoying. I can run a solid 4 miles before it really starts to hurt. Unfortunately, a half marathon is 13.65 miles. Since I have started to resume my training, I have been following the walk/run method. This is probably how I will do the marathon as well. I've also been following up my runs with a nice ice pack. It's amazing how ice is like a miracle medicine.

I'm happy that next weekend is the race. It will take a lot of pressure off me to run the long distances. I can focus more on improving my pace. And maybe I will enjoy it a little bit more too.

Half Marathon Here I Come!

So for the first half of the month I was waffling on whether or not I should attempt to do a half marathon. I started gradually increasing my distance and each week I was excited about how far I went. This past Monday I went 10 miles. 10 MILES!!!! I only have to get up to 14 miles so I am almost there on distance. I'm pretty stoked. Also, I've noticed the added benefit of weight loss. I blinked and suddenly I was at 50lbs lost!! I think that was the fastest I've lost 5lbs since I first started losing weight.

So these days I am basically running, running, running. Getting up way too early and running. But the interesting thing is that since I've gotten more serious with my running, my diet has improved dramatically. I'm more conscious of whats going into my body and how it affects me.

A couple of weeks ago my 5 year old daughter ran a 5K race with me. She did SO good! She came in 3rd for her age group! She even got a medal. Which we wore for a few days after. I should add that I cried like a baby at the finish line. I was so proud of her. She has decided that she doesn't want to run another long race with Mommy this year, but that is okay. She still runs with me on the short run days and who knows. Maybe next year we will run another race.  But I feel like maybe, just maybe, I am teaching her a healthy lifestyle that she will embrace and live.

I HATE IT HERE! TAKE ME HOME!!

I just saw a segment on CBS Sunday Morning about kids going to camp and writing letters to home. It made me laugh at some of the letters. The first letters of the week are always the "I hate it here! Come get me!" then by the end of the week the tone of the letters changes to "I love it here! Can I stay 2 more weeks?". Of course I remembered my own experiences at camp. I pretty much felt the same way. Though, not so much the "can I stay for 2 more weeks?". I've always been a wall flower, lacking in self confidence and unable to really jump into social situations and have alot of fun. But by the end of the week, I felt more comfortable to the point that I would actually sit at a table other kids were at instead of sitting by myself.

Then I started thinking about my daughter, who is not a wall flower. She is very outgoing actually. But when we start a new activity she does kind of drag her feet at it. She will want to quit early on or complain the whole time. Then she decides she likes it and wants to do it more. Or she decides she doesn't like it and will flat out refuse to do it. I wonder what her letters from camp will be like?

As my thoughts continued about how attitudes evolve over time I came to the conclusion that making a life change such as trying to lose weight, taking up a new exercise regimen, or just trying to be more health conscious is much the same. At first you might be a bit excited at how you are going to make a change for the better. Then you get into the program and have those moments of "Why the hell am I doing this? The only thing that has changed is that I am way more cranky and tired and sore!" Eventually you begin to see changes in your body or how you feel and start to appreciate all the efforts you have put in thus far. And then you cross that line and actually start to enjoy your new life style.

I have crossed the line for sure. I love running. I love exercising. For the most part, I enjoy eating healthy. Still not much of a fan of vegetables. But I am trying to incorporate more into my diet. And I do still love food, but I am learning to eat less of it and to make better choices. I think I will always be learning this. I will always be a work in progress.

But I am glad that I've finally reached that point at camp where I can sit at the table with the other kids again.

Hello 1 year Anniversary!

Well, its been about a year since I decided to make a change in my life and get healthy. It all started when we booked a vacation on a cruise. I was pretty close to 220lbs. I've lost 45 lbs in a year and I feel really proud of myself. Sure, I could have lost more, but I wouldn't change a thing. I feel like I'm really on the right track and should be able to reach my goal in the next couple of months. ( I think I have about another 15-20lbs to lose) My daughter and I have a 5K race coming up next week and after that I will be attempting either a 10K or a 1/2 Marathon. Running has definitely helped to keep me somewhat sane and on track to better eating and better decisions in general.

I also have a meeting with an advisor at the local collage to start my education on becoming a Dietitian. I'm so nervous! I get really nervous about doing things I haven't done before. I also get really nervous going to places I haven't been before. Hopefully I won't sound like a babbling idiot talking to this lady! I tend to run at the mouth when I'm nervous. (in one on one meetings anyway) (group settings I clam up) (I don't know why)

So I have a few positive things coming up, which is really good. I need some positive in my life! I have been battling depression for the past few weeks (hence the lack of posting). I don't really know what sets it off. It definitely comes in spurts for me. I'll be fine for a month them bam! Brick wall. Getting back to feel good about myself is a battle and its even a bigger battle keeping comfort foods out of my mouth. But I have been reasonably good over the past few weeks and have not gained any weight. I have not lost any, but I haven't gained and I think that speaks volumes.

I am going to upload some before and after pictures of me here. The problem I am having is finding before pictures. I never liked having my picture taken. Especially when I was really overweight. I still don't like my picture taken, but am definitely more tolerant now. LOL

Food Addiction

So, I just finished watching the latest episode of “Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition” and I have to say, this episode affected me deeply. I don’t normally feel so affected by shows like this. I mean, I might get a bit creeped out after watching a paranormal type of program or feel so happy for someone who has lost a bunch of weight. But this show was different. It seemed to really strike a chord, so to speak.

If you have not watched this show before here is a brief synopsis. Chris Powell is a fitness expert and he specializes in helping the morbidly obese. He works with the clients on the show for a year to transform their lives. So far, only 6 episodes have aired and I have to say, I am really starting to like this show. It’s a nice change from the competitiveness of Biggest Loser and so far everyone that has been on the show has a different reason for being so obese. (everything from homosexuality, abuse, deaths in the family to food addiction)

Anyway, this particular episode that I watched was about a man who suffers from food addiction. (If you want to watch this episode, please do not read the rest of this paragraph. I would hate to spoil it for you!!) At his first weigh in he weighed 490 lbs. He was a husband and a father who appeared to love both his wife and daughter very much. He also appeared desperate to gain control over his life. The first 3 months went smoothly with him losing 110 lbs. The next 3 months he only lost 20lbs. Then the next 3 months really went downhill. He gained back 60 lbs and became suicidal. This man truly suffered from food addiction and Chris was forced to come to the conclusion that he could not help the man as a trainer anymore. The man needed to check into rehab. This episode ended with the man and Chris checking into a rehab center and Chris leaving him there.

At first I was really annoyed at the lack of closure of this episode. I just hate being left hanging! But after I thought about it I realized that this is not the reason this episode affected me. I was feeling a bit emotional way before the end of the episode. I suppose it could just be the amount of despair this man showed. I really felt horrible for him. He seemed to really want to change his life and be a better husband and father. Then something would happen and he would sneak through a drive through. He would lie to his wife about what he ate. He would lie on video about how he was eating and what he was doing for exercise. Then he stopped all communication with Chris and after a few weeks sent a very ominous e-mail to Chris.

It’s really hard to understand what kind of emotions an addict might go through unless you yourself have been an addict. I have to admit, I don’t understand how a person could let an outside source control their behavior, their lives. I guess I am too much of a control freak. But I have a lot of empathy for people who do suffer from addictions. I have only recently come to understand that one of my grandfathers was an alcoholic. I’m pretty sure that he did not consider himself an addict and I have no idea if my grandmother thought anything about all the alcohol he would drink. But I don’t have too many memories of my grandfather that do not include him drinking and smoking. He always had a drink in hand and a lit cigarette. He never sought help to quit drinking. In fact, when he was diagnosed with lung cancer he actually started smoking and drinking more. It’s like he wanted to die as fast as he could. I loved my grandfather, and it saddened me that he did not want to make any lifestyle changes to be with his family longer.

I can only imagine how difficult it might be for a food addict. It must be just so difficult to overcome being addicted to eating. An act that you have to do in order to survive. My heart goes out to anyone that might be suffering from food addiction.

I have found a few websites that have information about food addiction and other eating disorders. Check them out if you suspect that either you or someone you know might be suffering.

http://www.treatment4addiction.com/addiction/other/food/

http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/mental-health-food-addiction

http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/food-addiction-symptoms-faq.htm

The Down Side of Weight Loss

In all of my years of living (29 years so far!) (which may or may not be my actual real age)(because I am ageless) (and if I were to actually be older than 29, I don't think I would ever admit it) I never thought there would be a downside  to losing weight. Let alone multiple downsides. But let me assure you, there are.

For instance, there is the cost of replacing clothing. If you whittle yourself down from a size 18 to a size 12, you almost have to get new clothes. Sure, you can do the Goodwill thing or the consignment shop thing and save a buck or two on clothes, but you are still spending money on new to you clothes. I suppose if you were a seamstress, you might be able to adjust your clothing to fit you better. But I know nothing of that. I cannot even sew a button! Well, I can, but it rarely stays put for more than 5 minutes. Or I suppose you could always do the Clampet method and tie a rope around the waistline of your clothes and make them fit. But I'm not entirely sure that is quite en vogue at the moment. But then again, if you are tying rope around your clothes to keep them on, then maybe you don't care so much for fashion rules.

I don't know if you are aware of this or not, but your feet also shrink. For real. I have been flustered lately that my shoes are not fitting correctly. Especially the cute sandals I bought when I was preggo with my son. Yes, I realize that when I wore those sandals, I was 6,7,8,9 months pregnant and I did have lots of swelling of the feet and ankles, so yes, my shoes may have been stretched a bit by that. But, I wore them last year and they were fine. This year, my feet move around all over the place and the sandals that do not buckle do not stay on my feet very well. Very frustrating.

This last thing though is by far the most annoying. Loose skin. I have never experienced this before. I've seen it on T.V. (but really, what DON'T you see on T.V. these days) But I have never seen it in real life. Now I have it. Under my arms, my midsection, a little bit in my legs. Blah! You can only do the shimmy while singing "see it wiggle, see it jiggle" so many times before it is no longer amusing. I do have to say though, that I am not going to undergo surgery to take care of this problem. No way. After doing a fair amount of reading I think I'm just going to wait it out and hope that it goes away on its own. Though, I do hope that it doesn't take up to 2 years to do so as a few articles have stated. I'm not a patient woman. In fact, I'm pretty sure there is a law in 49 out of 50 states that says "The word patience and the name Jennifer shall not be used in the same sentence, paragraph or article."

Of course, there is the biggest down side of all, eating disorders. While I do not consider myself to have an eating disorder, I am aware that alot of women and men struggle with anorexia and bulimia and other disorders. I can totally see how someone could always think they are not thin enough. Especially when everywhere you look, there are skinny people. On magazines, T.V., movies, beaches.... I know what its like to always wish to be thinner. But you have to know when you are the right size or too thin. Please be careful and not get caught up in that always dieting, starving yourself, taking extreme measures to be thinner. If you feel you might have an eating disorder, please please please seek help. I will never crack a joke about eating disorders. There is just nothing funny about them.

If you would like more information about loose skin, here are links to the most recent articles I was able to find today:
This article was somewhat informative, but also gave some product recommendations to try:
 http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/louis13.htm

This article was very informative. I think I am going to try this guys advise and stick to eating healthy and build some muscle. Warning, this article is long and has alot of scientific stuff in it, so it might not be a fast read.
http://www.bodyfatguide.com/LooseSkin.htm

This article is kind of a middle ground between the two articles above. He gives some good advice and its a quick read.
http://getfitguy.quickanddirtytips.com/how-to-tighten-loose-skin-after-weight-loss.aspx

Just remembering the old "Me"

So, I love watching T.V. shows where people are working to change their lives. I especially love the weightloss shows. Watching someone change from a person who had zero self esteem and a horrible self image to a confidant individual who feels they can not only take on the world, but perhaps inspire other people to change or better yet, help other people make the changes they need to live better lives. I love these shows because they do inspire me to continue my work towards my own weightloss goal and often they motivate me to work harder.

That being said, every single one of these shows, have something in common. At the beginning of each episode (like the new Extreme Makeover: Weightloss Edition) or season (such as Biggest Loser) they interview the contestants or participants. They talk about how their daily life is and how they just wish someone could come into their lives and save them. I have to admit that I cringe and/or roll my eyes every single time at this part of the show. I actually get a little bit angry at these people. Don't they realize that if you wait for someone to "save" you , you will most likely die before being saved? I just want to shake them and remind them that the only person that can change their life, is them. But then I have to step back, and remember that I was just like them a year ago. Wishing for someone to change my body for me. Wishing for someone to make me feel better about myself. Just wishing to be someone different. Wishing...

I don't know what clicked in my brain or how the switch got flipped, but thank goodness it did! I no longer wish for a different body or to be someone different. I feel better about myself. I feel more confident in life. But most of all, I feel proud of myself for realizing that only I could make the change to be who I wanted and only I could put in the amount of work necessary to change. Only I can make the better food choices to change how my body looks and feels. It seems like this way of thinking is a no brainer to me today, but last year, I could not even imagine that it was possible to think this way.

Maybe that is one of the reasons I like these shows. They remind me of how I was. And of how I am now. I'm a work in progress, but I'm alot better off now.